Q+A: How do I initiate a connection with who and what matters?
This week we're looking at emerging soul contracts and moving through old fears for the beginning you're longing for.
These timeless psycho-spiritual readings for this collective readership, present a foundational insight into an issue you may be experiencing + reflect the psychological essence behind behavioural energy. Be empowered to develop compassion + flexibility on your values-responsive path in resolving what keeps you up at night.
This week:
So much has been said, but there’s still a truth being held back
Soul contracts, ties and karmic relationships are coming to the surface
The root patterns of self worth that need your attention now
Choosing a responsive path to support your emergence
Dropping the fight to overcome the mental and emotional exhaustion
Removing your armour: a supporting ACT metaphor / exercise
The song I’m being reminded of: DMA’s - Fading Like A Picture
The background
True Black Tarot: Queen of Swords reversed, Nine of Swords reversed, Eight of Cups reversed
Rana George Lenormand: Fish, Eastern Man, Ship
What’s been interesting to see in this week’s reading is the repetition of some of last week’s main focus cards, albeit in reverse. This shows movement along the same challenge lines which will be interesting to watch play out, and of course, will naturally reflect the progression you see in your own readings. The energy of movement can be seen which is good news when breaking free of habits and patterns. However there is still a great deal of resistance hanging around.
With the Queen of Swords in reverse this week, we can see some harsh, or difficult words have now been spoken. Maybe there’s been some heightened emotion that’s arisen that’s been buried, and the volcanic-like eruption of mental clarity and communicative power has taken you by surprise. You couldn’t ignore it illustrated by the Fish and this was a conversation you needed to have that brought about charged, yet positive and significant change that’s led you to a sense of freedom and independence you’ve not experienced within this relationship dynamic.
The inner turmoil has roots of a masculine energy. You’re releasing the worry, secrets and long-standing fears ready to tackle the aimless drifting and indecision that was highlighted last week.
The combination of the Eight of Cups and the Ship suggest you’re realising time is lineal. You’re having some deep, maybe even karmic, realisations with aspects underpinning your relationship lessons that span lifetimes.
What you previously thought you might have to entirely walk away from to self actualise, is now being offered to you as a pathway to creating a new way of being within this relationship. It won’t be like it was before; the old shell that housed the patterns. It’s emerged as something else and is moving to another dimension.
There’s no loss here; purely transition and everything to gain from letting go of what you’ve outgrown, and finding a new ground to house this more aligned way of being. This is not to be confused with staying. You’re not. You’ve left the old, and creating the new. The roles you know have been supporting, but the new is aligned with who you are now and who you’re becoming. This is compounded by the Anant below.
The what you’re doing in reactive mode
Tarot: Ace of Swords
Lenormand: Birds
This shows why you’re still going through it. There’s a new truth that is still yet to emerge illustrated by the Ace of Swords, and a conversation needs to happen that is causing you anxiety, shown by the Birds. Whilst you may have said some in part, you’re still holding something vital back.
You may have the mental clarity, but you’re still second-guessing your judgement because the powerful root patterning of your self-belief that dominates your sense of worth, is governing your ability to sever the final strands that keep you in a loop of habits.
You may have the idea on how to move forward, but not be able to actualise the mindset that propels you through. What information or evidence can you now gather that will help you to speak your truth, and remove some of the assumptions and fear you hold in doing so?
The why you’re doing it
Tarot: Five of Pentacles
Lenormand: Bear
The Five of Pentacles is a pretty brutal energy that describes abandonment, lack mindset and scarcity. So this needs a bit more air-time.
With your outer behaviour being represented by the Bear, it’s one of either excessive external control or dominance, or it has an internal hold over you to the same frequency.
You could be experiencing a dominant person, but know that if you are, it’s been set up to be that way for you to learn to equal the playing field. Or, you could be subconsciously creating dependence from another to seek out appreciation and feel valued.
Fulfilling relationships that last are based on interdependence. They’re two-way with both parties bringing their equal value to the connection. One may be ‘rich’ with emotional intelligence, ideas or communication, whilst the other may be ‘practically or materially rich’ and bring the fire.
However the split, don’t confuse goodness with godliness: you don’t need to be everything to everyone to feel worthy.
Taking self responsibility is to live to your personal values and allow the other to do the same, rather than removing their responsibility by exerting your control out of fear. Because that’s what we’re really talking about here; fear. Fear of not being good enough, and fear of being alone. And that’s not living.
There is much talk to ‘being present’ but let’s face it, the here and now isn’t always a nice place to be. I often think to myself, ‘How can I be present at the place I despise the most; the dentist, when I don’t want to be there?!’. Without opening yet another tab in my brain, my point is that fantasy-land is often a preferred destination to avoid being here. It’s where we get to play; be our own hero and everything works out like a Disney film.
But - without learning to be present, we also don’t learn how to enjoy and savour the moments of the sweeter tastes in life when we’ve become so used to numbing-out to avoid the bitter flavours.
Tarot: Anant reversed
Lenormand: Scythe
The Anant is the extra card in the True Black deck and one of the least discussed cards online. This card always appears in my sessions when soul contracts are prominent. To me this card is the epitome of our life path; accumulating our lessons, learnings, the beginnings and endings of soul agreements and birthing new eras.
Whilst we have choice, there is an energetic message that arrives here making us question what is outside our scope of influence.
Life is like the seasons. It is never-ending and as Arthur Wang writes, “Laying in the centre is a fetus; the intermediary between the ending and beginning of the major arcana, representing the cyclical nature of eternity.”
Anant describes the end of a chapter, but knowing ‘our people’ that have brought us to this point energetically continue with us as we’re connected. They’re our soul family. However, it is time now to embrace the new soul agreements; knowing that Anant is eternal and exists outside of the constraints of birth, life and death. We can continue with confidence and courage knowing our soul has chosen carefully the what and who supports our growth. It’s not a case of ‘or’, but ‘and’.
The Scythe moves quickly so it is my guidance to choose the path of least resistance. I’m not saying roll over. I’m saying respond to your calling. It is always better to be in choice than to have something forced upon us. We are reminded by this card that nothing is permanent, yet at the same time limitless and infinite. Yes I know this is deep, but this is the nature of this card. Find some still time and then respond to:
Where may you now expand into all that you are?
What is your main driving energy, baked into the fibre of your very being; not just in your material form but your spirit?
Who do you want to be now? Who are you becoming in this, and your forthcoming lives?
Who have you noticed has come into your life to run with you? Does your soul recognise them? Remove logic for a moment, what does your heart say?
And the what to consider as your next move
Tarot: Seven of Wands reversed
Lenormand: Heart
You’re being tested when a reversed seven appears. Because the sevens are about attaining a higher wisdom, you can bet your bottom dollar you’re facing internal conflicts, choices and having to question the effects of your beliefs.
Given that we have the Heart present, we can see there’s an internal battle raging; likely about how to win someone over, or the choice of two paths. If we look back over the entire reading, this follows a sequence. In part, you’re over the battle as you see, with love, that something or someone is no longer worth the struggle. This is divinely orchestrated to help you move onto the path that is waiting for you.
And to the other part, something new is now asking you to ‘stand up and be counted’. Be in it to win it, so to speak. Maybe you’ve backed down too easily, wanting an easy life, but where does that short term gain measure on your mid to longer term Richter scale of fulfillment? Maybe being accepted by others has generated more weight for you, but now it’s time to be in a place of self acceptance over all else.
There’s a line being drawn and it’s asking you to face who you are, and actualise what, and who, you need and want in your life. And to do this? Ensure all actions come from your heart.
Surrender deck:
“Surrender your desire to control people: Being over-controlling can sabotage relationships. To more effectively achieve your goals, back off, regroup, and give the situation some breathing room.”
“Surrender your belief in scarcity: The universe is asking you to open to the infinite nature of abundance. In this way, you can remove blocks in your life and succeed beyond your wildest dreams”.
The Transparent Tarot by Emily Carding:
Lovers, King of Pentacles and Devil reversed
Read in various combinations, this deck is fabulous for perspective. Here we can see the mirroring of the twins in all their glory. The Lovers is about coming to the party with aligned values for the greater good. Two counterparts have always been on their way to union, but first have to transcend a course of ‘tests’ they mirror to one another (which you’re ‘winning’ indicated by the Devil reversed).
A ‘twin soul (or flame)’ dynamic is waaaaay out of the scope of this post, but they’re clearly showing up here for focus. So in brief, examine the relationship dynamic in the perspective of this reading. Is there a mirroring you’re aware of? Hold the person in your mind; do they have opposite, yet complementing, qualities and skills to yours? Do you feel impossibly and magnetically drawn to them at the same time as repelling you? You ‘shouldn’t’ love them, but you do? Because it’s unconditional.
Each ‘twin’ is separate with their own strengths and weaknesses, but eternally linked by their need and desire of the other. Each is incomplete without the other and unite when they realise there is no fight between them that can be won; they are each successful within their own energy. Together they provide the gift of harmony to each other, and those they serve. Their union is purposeful and intensely powerful; to each other and humanity.
So in the interests of this reading and speaking your truth to serve your soul connections, remember; you won’t have all the answers individually, but together you will. A conversation moves mountains, whereas assumptions create them.
The bottom of the decks
Tarot: Knight of Pentacles reversed
Lenormand: Bed
I often recommend using the cards at the bottom of each deck to emphasise or find additional clarity around the focus of the root issue. In this week’s case we’ve been looking at the Five of Pentacles and the Bear that the Knight here is turning the volume up on.
The Knight represents the skill you have in keeping true to the cause you feel has been right so far. To not get swayed by what you’ve deemed to be passing flights of fancy, or urges that you suspect will move on. (Again ties in with the Lovers and Devil above).
You’ve remained still as indicated by one of Rana George’s four extra cards in her lenormand deck; Bed, instead of being swept along by the current of changeable emotion. But you can no longer fight it. The bed card is reminding you of where your staunch self discipline has been undermining and denying you of what you truly desire at a soul level.
ACT with perspective
Acceptance and Commitment therapy (ACT) metaphors can be helpful when we are attempting to access our ‘noticing self’ (or using our ‘self’ as context); the part of us we want to engage by taking a step back before responding.
The following metaphor was created by David Gillanders called ‘Taking off your armour’ and may be useful with underlying trauma where mistrust and being guarded is in combat with a values-based need for intimacy and closeness. The goal is draw awareness to an old concept of self (the armour) no longer fits.
Do you feel your childhood or early life was such a battle, whether physically, mentally or emotionally, that your only protection was to develop a strong outer casing (armour) to defend yourself? You may remember feeling like a knight; constantly at war. You may have got so comfortable wearing this armour that it became like an extension of your own skin. So much so that you forgot you were wearing it. You may even be aware you’re still wearing it because it stopped you from being hurt, so why take it off now?
Now look at your life right now. Are you still at battle in one way or another with those around you? Or mentally with those you want in your life but feel threatened by on some level?
Could it be the previous war was over a long time ago, but you’re still wearing this armour today? How free do you feel by wearing it? Is it heavy? What is this armour now costing you? Whilst it’s stopping you from being hurt, could it be true that it’s also stopping you from feeling the warmth of being held? Being loved? What would it be like now if you took off this suit of armour?
Beautifully said and bang on for sure Alison! 🙃😁 Thanknyou x Sally