These timeless psycho-spiritual essays present a foundational insight into an issue you may be experiencing and reflect the psychological essence behind behavioural energy. Be empowered to develop compassion and flexibility on your values-responsive path in resolving what keeps you up at night. Learn to know you’re enough.
It’s my birthday today
I’m 48. Which feels a simple personal share.
And in numerology that equals a 3 which is the number representing creativity, self-expression and social activity in my ‘second cycle’, according to The Numerology Guidebook by Michelle Buchanan.
This especially interests me given I’ve been ignoring the calling to write, create, and connect with other like-minds, to my emotional and physical detriment, for longer than I’d prefer to admit.
Today; April 21st, also carries the pinnacle number of 77 (2+1+4 = 7 and 2+0+2+3 =7) which in English, carries the highly spiritual energy of intuition, endurance, determination, growth, soul purpose, immaterial possessions, wisdom, psychic energy, divine influences and new insight entering your life. So I feel privileged, but not entirely surprised, to be writing this for such a pivotal day.
Being a master number 11 (29/11), I’ve become accustomed to a life of ‘intense spiritual activity’ (which I’m feeling called to write about at some point), and suffering the consequences of being misaligned with the self I came here to be if I sway too far from my soul-designed path.
Turning 48 means I can relax after a year of running the ‘11-gauntlet’ that was the numerological energy of my 47th year. At least for a while. In ‘11 years’, as I call them, I’ve come to need a crash helmet and full body armour. It feels as though I’ve survived a year where nothing major happened for several months, other than the usual '11-days’ tests’. This generated a single-raised eyebrow of expectancy for the most part, but then toward the last quarter, it all got rather noisy.
And thus introduces the focus of this post…
The first, and last three articles on here, were collective readings summarising energy that I wasn’t exempt from.
I noticed the Devil, Five of Pentacles and Six of Cups kept appearing, and for me, I know this related to a painful past of self limitations that reappears every so often to heal the remaining fragments for self worth. For you it’ll be different of course, and the cards were asking you to notice what limitations you were working towards releasing once and for all.
The Ace of Swords appearing in #2 brought much of it together for me as it asked me to pay attention to where I was not expressing my own voice. Rather than a channeled one I mean.
Even if I did have one spiritual arm twisted behind my back, I still answered the calling to write in the form of presenting collective readings here on Substack after departing social media last year. I thought I’d ticked one of the main purpose boxes and for a while there, felt accomplished. That was until the volume went up and it was made clear to me that I didn’t actually express myself.
And oh, that hurt.
“Honesty is the first chapter in the book of wisdom”- Thomas Jefferson
Following those articles, several people confessed to various scenarios where those readings nailed their experiences. Much of which centered around truth-speaking after a long time of keeping schtum.
Patterns of non truth-speaking and their consequences became the sum total of the readings, and I realised over the last week that I had been doing anything but speak mine.
You are the only person who gets to determine your worth
My intentions for starting this publication was to show you how to feel ‘enough’. To not be yanked around by other’s judgements and be your own authority. Showing you how to achieve this by reading for yourself and getting to the point that I have in becoming confident in your own ability to know what’s right for you by generating an inner voice that’s louder than the outer.
However, whilst collective readings are great, and oh boy I do love them for that ‘me too’ validation that I’m not alone on this crazy-paving path to Nutsville, the real richness comes from actioning the resonance we take from them, and then sharing our collective experience to help others.
For me, this means sharing little aspects of my life that demonstrate how I’ve arrived at certain points along the way, and how I’m actively implementing what I’m presenting to you in the form of card-energy and reflective questions. It also means bringing the voice I use in session with clients to this page. My humour. My tone.
Not easy for me to do but one I’m endeavouring to practice.
No problem you may think, except for me it kinda is.
For those that know me, I’ve battled with the challenge of speaking up. I don’t pretend to hold the monopoly on being the sole victim of the ‘seen and not heard’ era, and I do a very good job at hiding how much it’s impacted me.
The apparent, and often misleading, contradiction that sees me as being one of the first to offer my opinion, doesn’t come without Richter-scale-nine body tremors of anxiety that can almost push me to the brink of passing out if I’m out of my comfort zone. Followed by a whole barrage of ensuing mind chatter that leads me to want to shrink.
I’ve spent a great deal of my life learning to create a balance between over-sharing and remaining silent, with a pendulum that often swings between the two rooted in my past experiences (Six of Cups with Five of Pentacles). Anyone resonate with this?!
I’ve learned, and still learning, that speaking my truth leads to working out what that very truth actually is. Our minds can act like an AK47 of stories around our experiences. Have you noticed that what you may think is correct in your mind, often takes on a very different meaning when moved into verbal or written form? That’s why speaking and writing is so cathartic.
“Meaningful connection is formed when we bravely share our truth” - Michelle Maros
Learning to read for myself hasn’t eliminated what I describe above, as I’ve come to accept the rising adrenaline as an essential messenger of human survival - and my individual life path.
However, we need to be able to ascertain whether we are in real danger or not, and being numbed out and oblivious will likely mean we become fertiliser before we’re ready. So we need to be able to pay attention to how we feel, and translate our body’s language into logistical sense that inspires and motivates us, instead of limiting us and thwarting our very evolution.
Without the personal connection to ourself, the language of our body can appear foreign. We can miss its communication leading us to consider the messages as just another thing to try and get rid of. After all, who wants to feel the gripping barbed-wire coil in their stomachs, or the throat-restricting pressure that reduces your voice to a whisper of compliance? Or the numbing disconnection that erodes any care of what goes on until the effects of such are demonstrated by the consequential damage?
Isn’t it far better that we learn to acknowledge these sensations, and decipher the coding of safety patterns that don’t actually serve us at all? To become thriving individuals that not only honour and protect our personal autonomy, but also contribute to the well-being of others through connection and respect?
“Connection with yourself only comes in moments of silence” - Bryant McGill
And these are my reasons for wanting to teach you the benefits of reading tarot and/or lenormand, for yourself, along with nuggets of practical daily how-tos that lead you to proficiency in saying no to what you don’t want and yes to what you do, including:
a small personal reflection of how all, part, or even a tiny bit of the last week’s cards have presented themselves in my own life; i.e. what stood out or what echoed a past significance, and how I approached that
a card or few that represents the collective energy to reflect on for the coming week with suggested keyword interpretations to invite more of your own
quotes to inspire you
a couple of questions, and/or exercise(s) relating to the cards that prompt reflection on how they’re communicating to you
We’re all connected; we’re all breathing the same air under the same planets, and it’s an act of human kindness and connection to each of us when we summon the courage to give a little shoulder-bump to someone else that will benefit from your expression. Because I can guarantee they will.
So where, alongside me, might you be able to ‘feel the fear and do it anyway’ by practicing your self expression within this safe space on Substack, by sharing a reflection or two, a thought, or a photo in the comments, chat or notes? Listen now to the language of your body at this consideration; does it constrict? Or does it feel at ease?
Feel where you can grow. And when you’re ready, your voice will be warmly welcome.
Collective energy for the week ahead
True Black Tarot: Four of Swords | Photography by Alison Jeavons ©
It almost feels rigged, but I promise you I didn’t actually draw this card until after I’d written the above. This is what I love about working with spiritual energy - they never stop listening.
The Four of Swords is a much needed breath of fresh air in light of recent energy. And, given this is an energy I would like you to feel into without my prior input, I won’t present my thoughts on this right now, other than to suggest the deliberate movement into a space of quiet contemplation.
I’m drawn to the water in the background of my photograph, and sensing that after quite some time of feeling powerless, you’re taking a short pause to gain emotional equilibrium.
Whether or not this pause has been forced upon you, I feel there’s a suggestion to find clarity within the stillness before initiating your truth that breaks a limiting chain:
No matter how demanding your situation is right now, where can you go back to basics to allow more space for yourself? What can you do to extend a moment in your day that enables you to listen to your body?
Make notes in your phone or in your favourite place, on how you were able to achieve this; what did you try? If you have your own tarot deck, shuffle and pull one card to accompany the Four of Swords to illustrate your underlying cause to pause? What new awareness arose for you, and how you did you respond?
And last but certainly not least, I have just finished reading an excellent new book by artist, Charlotte Giblin, who presents how she initiated pause in her life. In an autobiography that is honest and unflinching, I gained more from reading ‘Seeing Clearly’ than I expected. I ran alongside Charlotte during its final birthing moments, yet still marvel at how timely her words landed for me; proving the power of the ‘me-too’. You can learn more about her here.
Until next week… let’s give ourselves permission to simply be… and in the words of Buddha;
Peace comes from within. Do not seek it without.” - Buddha
Alison Jeavons is a professional intuitive, certified Transpersonal Coach, Practitioner in Trauma Focused Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (TFACT), Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP), plus a variety of humanistic and alternative models. Learn more about her work at Soulchology or to work with her personally.